In the cafe after a course session in the SF Bay Area Center, USA

Week Four Topic: Relationships

In this topic, Belsebuub outlines a number of important relationships we have in life, for example with our friends, family, at work or with society as a whole and how each of these relationships can be improved by or can help us in gaining self-knowledge.

The Relationship with Others

Belsebuub states that with the intelligence of the consciousness, which is activated by being aware of the present moment, we can interact and relate well with others. He explains however, that the normal way of acting is with egos and that’s where mistakes are made and things can go wrong. Belsebuub says that it’s in these instances — when a person would otherwise act with egos — that the inner work of observing and eliminating egos, as well identifying and correcting mistakes, is most needed. Belsebuub states that if we do this well, much learning can take place and our relationships with others can then be “conducted appropriately.”

The Environment

Belsebuub explains that all the pollution, exploitation, destruction, general lack of concern for other species, and insensitive disregard of beauty in the world is inherently reflected in the poor and insensitive state of the individual human psyche. He states that without being driven by egos, “the world could be beautiful and could supply everyone’s needs, without the famines, inequality, overpopulation, and poverty that exist today.”1

However, egos of greed and the self-interest they bring, Belsebuub says, make cooperation very difficult, and so the concerns of others and of the environment inevitably take low priority and are often given no importance. As a result, the world is in the bad state we find it in today with exploited resources and the destruction of the environment.


Belsebuub explains that many cultures in the world have a long history of conflict, hatred, animosity, and warfare, and even those that were once based on esoteric values have either degenerated and been destroyed, have been assimilated into other cultures, or have simply faded into history.

He goes on to explain that:

“The world is now too bad a place to change society en masse; therefore, it is for individuals to make the change, to eliminate the egos, and to become better people.”
~ Belsebuub

He says that individuals can take up an inner spiritual work and then try to help others in society to gain access to the information so that they too have an opportunity to change.

Belsebuub also explains that it’s in the interactions with others in society that the egos manifest within us, and so, although to visit a retreat to concentrate upon spiritual exercises and practices can be useful for a period of time, it would not be helpful to withdraw into a solitary, meditative life permanently, as it would lack the circumstances needed for the egos to be understood and removed.


A person’s job is an excellent place for learning and gaining self-knowledge for both employees and their bosses, Belsebuub says, as there can be many different scenarios at work in which egos can arise. He explains that if a person is in awareness and self-observation, they can make good use of the situations for learning rather than simply going along with the egos. He states:

“If someone takes the path, the people around them are used for their learning. If you learn in a situation, you find that it changes and a new one with new learning opportunities arises. We can bring about change in our circumstances, including work, with the elimination of the egos.”
~ Belsebuub

Belsebuub also explains that it is important to concentrate on what you’re doing when working at a job or task, as focussing the mind in this way means the egos have less opportunity to feed. He also recommends if doing tasks that require a lot of mental activity, such as computer work, that as well as concentrating fully upon what is being done, breaks are also taken to get back to the awareness.

Belsebuub concludes the section by speaking about the bigger picture of one’s life and the spiritual path in relation to one’s job. He states:

“Egos of laziness can prevent people from taking up work; ambition can take over others and drive them to overwork. In itself though work is a means to earn a living. If your priority is the esoteric path and we do it properly, you always have the opportunity to take care of your needs. The job provides a living, an income, and a means to self-discovery.”
~ Belsebuub


Belsebuub explains that friendships are formed with affinity, e.g. “a common interest in sport, gossip, humour, etc.”5 He says that when someone changes within their interests also change, leading to a change in affinities which means that new friendships can be formed.

Belsebuub also mentions that it’s important not to be psychologically dependent upon friends or what other people think about you. However, he says it is a virtue to be pleasant, friendly, and humorous.

The Family

Belsebuub explains that in the astral plane all of humanity is really one family; however, we are born into our particular family group in the physical world due to the specific circumstances we need to learn about ourselves. With this perspective in mind, he explains the love and connection in family relationships:

“Love is to be encouraged and developed [in the family], but attachment is different and naturally brings great grief when there is a parting. To advance with the path, these attachments must be eliminated, but not love.”
~ Belsebuub

Belsebuub explains that our family members know how to push our emotional buttons in ways unlike anyone else, but that if there are any resentments toward family members, they must be seen and eliminated, as one cannot become a spiritual being with resentments existing within. He explains that although one’s family should not be allowed to adversely affect one’s personal spiritual goals, family members should also never be left in physical need.

The Spouse

Belsebuub states that the most important relationship one has is with their spouse. He explains that this relationship can be a great source of joy if both are eliminating their egos and changing together, each admitting mistakes and developing spiritually. However, because the egos interfere and manifest, he says that many arguments can arise unnecessarily.

Belsebuub explains that a marriage based around the spiritual practice of alchemy is essential for spiritual development. He also points out that by karmic law, those who are single will find a partner if they practice the other two keys of eliminating egos and helping others spiritually as best as they are able too.

The Physical Body

Belsebuub explains that it’s more difficult to maintain awareness and combat the egos if the physical body is ill or tired, and so it’s important to keep as healthy as possible and not get too tired. He states:

“Drugs, overwork, gluttony, overuse of the body in sports, all wear the physical body out. The body is a temple of the divine, or in most cases could be, so it has to be treated well so that it is of use in the work.”
~ Belsebuub

Belsebuub says that as well as through neglect, illnesses can come as a result of karma, and that when they do a person needs to be patient, doing what they can physically to get cured, and asking for help from above. He also explains that when someone’s on the spiritual path, illnesses stir up the egos so that they can be understood and eliminated.


Belsebuub states that the spiritual within is manifest through the awareness, which takes lots of effort in daily life to maintain. When that effort is not made and one is not in the state of awareness an ego is manifesting, he explains, and that these egos produce conflict within, leading to depression, anxiety, misery, worry, etc. To find peace, he says, these egos and ego-states need to be eliminated so that the Being can be incarnated.

To the Divine

Belsebuub explains that the root meaning of the word “religion” is to reunite with the divine. He states that when egos are eliminated there is a gradual change within and therefore an incremental change in one’s actions, and that through this process one acts more and more in accordance with Divine will.

He concludes the topic by stating:

“The contact with the Divine can be strengthened through asking, by acting correctly, by getting in touch with the Divine within by being conscious, awake, aware, by working with the three keys, and walking along the esoteric path.”
~ Belsebuub

Week Four Exercise: Study the Ego of Anger

The exercise for week four is to observe the ego of anger in daily life, trying to see it precisely in the places in the body where it arises and in which situations in order to study it in depth.

Belsebuub recommends to be on alert and watch out not just for big outbursts, but most importantly “any little manifestations of it such as irritability, the responses you have to someone who is angry or aggressive, etc. Spot the way it makes you feel, the things that you say, how you think and act it.”9

Belsebuub recommends looking into one’s dreams to see if there were any examples of anger there. He also suggests looking to see if there were any situations in life where one reacted calmly when previously they would have reacted with anger. This, he explains, would be an indication of the beginnings of change.

In the last part of the exercise, Belsebuub outlines some of the characteristics of aggression and points out that aggression is the ego’s way of forcing someone, something, or some situation. He states that in addition to trying to understand aggression, part of the exercise is to look into a question posed by a student about the difference between aggression and assertiveness, to see if one could answer it and understand the issues raised by it through experience.

Week Four Questions and Answers

Read questions and answers from week four of the course here.



  1. Belsebuub. “Week 4: Relationships.” Searching Within: A 9 Week Course. 2001. An online course published on the website
  2. Ibid.
  3. Ibid.
  4. Ibid.
  5. Ibid.
  6. Ibid.
  7. Ibid.
  8. Ibid.
  9. Belsebuub. “Week 4 Exercise: Study the Ego of Anger.” Searching Within: A 9 Week Course. Op. cit.