Belsebuub’s Searching Within course was perhaps the most impactful thing I have ever experienced in my life. The information he presented resonated with me greatly, but most importantly the practices really worked and I managed to begin to overcome many debilitating negative states and experience things like peace and clarity on a level I had never experienced before.
First Starting to Practice
For me, the main introduction to Belsebuub’s Searching Within course was his book The Peace of the Spirit Within. A few of the catchphrases on the cover caught my attention when I first glanced at it, such as: “Look for the peace of the spirit within you – that which is permanent… That which is permanent is the consciousness.”
I read through it but noted how Belsebuub made it clear that change would only occur through practice and personal experience, so I knew I needed to actually do the things I was reading to make any progress. However, the way Belsebuub wrote was so easy to understand and relate to that I already felt I learned a lot just by reading. In particular, I learned a lot about how it was actually possible to make lasting positive changes to how you were and to profoundly connect with the divine within.
Reading about the consciousness and its spiritual aspects reminded me of several points earlier in my life such as being in nature and spontaneously becoming completely clear internally. For example, I have memories of walking by the creek near my family home and just stopping all of a sudden when I felt somehow truly “myself.” It was as if the consciousness at that point had become strong and overridden the train of thoughts I had been going along with automatically up until then. At the time, I had no idea what this feeling was, but it certainly felt good. Of course, it didn’t last very long as I began to go back to daydreaming as usual.
After reading through The Peace of the Spirit Within I set a day to begin to practice the basics of what Belsebuub was explaining. To begin with, this meant being aware in the present moment. I brought my attention to my five senses to really “be” where I was – in this case it was in my room after waking from sleep. As I got up and got prepared for the day I tried to be as aware as possible, observing not only what I was doing but seeing the thoughts and emotions come and go, not feeding into them or getting sidetracked. I kept with it the whole day getting odd jobs done around the house and whatever else I had to do. By the end of the day I was amazed at how much I had gotten done by not giving into laziness, but beyond this I felt very good at just being aware and seeing things in a completely new way. Life seemed to take on a pleasant new dimension.
Those first few days showed me I was onto something real. The practices worked, the information resonated with me, Belsebuub was a genuine spiritual teacher who shared his work without profit, and what’s more because the Searching Within course was free I was keen to attend next chance I had. I simply didn’t see this combination of factors in any other spiritual offerings around – and haven’t since.
Life before Searching Within
Daydreaming used to be one of my favorite hobbies. I spent most of my waking hours doing it. Whether being a passenger on the bus or in a car, sitting in class at school, zoning out while lazing around at home, and while doing all sorts of mundane everyday tasks like sweeping leaves outside the house.
All this fantasizing seemed very enjoyable, but it would also often lead to depression and negativity. Inevitably I would imagine of all sorts of negative outcomes and scenarios based on what had happened at school, arguing with my parents, and so on.
It got to the point where I felt pretty much trapped in life due to negative thoughts – about my job, my friends, my education, my future – basically about everything.
I had always believed there was “something more” out there than just ordinary everyday living, and was interested in reading about paranormal things, religion, spirituality, history, and philosophy. These interests helped me to eventually come across Belsebuub’s work online. Once I did, it was reading other people’s experiences, particularly regarding changing themselves based on his Searching Within course, that encouraged me the most to start trying it for myself.
Some Experiences on the Course
It was life-changing to personally experience what an active consciousness feels like. I was able to “feel” firsthand what it was to be aware and clear, something that once experienced I knew I wanted to continue to strengthen and grow. I was able to verify what Belsebuub wrote – how this part was the real us, while the egos (subconscious thoughts and emotions) were not, and were actually the cause of harm and misery in life.
I also found learning more about overcoming addictions particularly helpful, as I had struggled with quite a few up until that point. Knowing through Belsebuub’s work that they could be broken by continually strengthening the consciousness, and by observing, analyzing and removing the egos which caused the addictions, gradually allowed me to break their grip. I was then able to replace them with beneficial activities such as physical exercise, cleaning the house, helping my family, and so on.
One thing that really surprised me was that just being aware and looking around my room was a somewhat enlightening experience. To look around while aware was a whole new experience for me as the norm up to that point was to look without really seeing.
Walking in nature became an almost otherworldly spiritual experience at times. I had enjoyed family trips to national parks many times in my childhood, which were very nice, but now knowing the techniques for being aware and coming out of the ego states I was able to enjoy outings in nature to a much greater degree.
Practicing mantras became a daily activity for me after reading about it in Belsebuub’s Searching Within course. One mantra he taught was simply the vowel ‘O.’ I had enjoyed singing previously, but this was a whole other experience for me. I loved preparing for meditation by sitting comfortably, relaxing, and then singing the mantra – taking a deep breath, and pronouncing the vowel in a long even tone, then repeating. The effect of the practice seemed to continuously build up that by the end of it I would feel very clear and peaceful. This was by myself, but doing mantras in a group with others on the course was exponentially better!
Other parts of the course that really resonated with me included learning about the different places in the psyche where the egos manifested, and understanding how to create a framework in life in which to allow spiritual practice to become a focus. Having a framework like this allowed me to generate even more results than I had seen up to that point.
Because of the Searching Within course structure that built upon itself from week to week, I found I was able to give a good focus to each of the topics and practices that Belsebuub explained. There was plenty of discussion and questions answered which also helped my understanding to be fostered throughout.
Beyond Searching Within
After the Searching Within course, I was super enthusiastic about learning more, as the progress I had made up to that point was beyond what I ever thought was possible. Being able to overcome depression was such a relief, like a huge weight was lifted off, and I now knew how to overcome thoughts of past mistakes and regrets that would bring me down and stop me moving forward with my life.
So I continued on with further courses and books. Since then I haven’t seen or gotten elsewhere anything like what I learned in the Searching Within course. I have Belsebuub and his breakthrough work in self-knowledge to thank for the changes I was able to make that improved my life so much, and for the beginnings of my spiritual journey.
~ Jon Alswinn