Background to Finding the Searching Within Course by Belsebuub
Belsebuub’s Searching Within course was offered online through the website Mysticweb.org in 2002 when I first took the course. I had just done his course on Astral Travel & Dreams which was the first course of Belsebuub’s that I did, and in that I got interested in the self-knowledge he was talking about.
There were free weekly downloads of PDFs with a topic and a related exercise in each one. Also, there was an online course forum which I didn’t use much at that time, I just stuck to reading the PDFs and trying things out on my own.
Going through this course opened up a whole new world for me and has had a profound positive change on my life ever since.
An Interest in Psychology
I always had a general interest in psychology from a desire to understand myself and others better and wanting to interact with the world more intelligently than what I felt I did, and to have more inner peace from the inner turmoil I felt at times. Very fortunately for me, all those things are exactly what I got from Belsebuub’s Searching Within course.
A few years before doing the course I’d seen the movie The Matrix (1999) and for a while it perturbed me to think of the idea that reality is not what it seems and that actually underneath it all there is something sucking the life out of you and keeping you psychologically asleep in order to do so. Looking back on it, I think that movie resonated with me because subconsciously I was looking for a way out of low emotions and to have a better understanding of life.
Grief & Addictions
For a few years before doing the course I had been through a relationship breakup, was struggling with smoking and a mild addiction that I had for years but wanted to give up, was deeply shocked and dismayed by the 9/11 attacks and was increasingly feeling unfulfilled by my job and the usual entertainments I engaged in.
In 2001, prior to finding Mysticweb and Belsebuub’s courses, I had tried a few times to quit smoking and even did a multi-week paid quit smoking course which delved a bit into psychology and watching your self-talk, etc., which I found interesting and somewhat practical, however it didn’t make for any lasting change as I ended up relapsing into smoking again.
Ready for the New: Searching Within
When I found the free courses at Mysticweb I was ready to try something different which would hopefully help me find the answers I was looking for. I thought I might as well see what was on offer and give it a go since it was all free and I could do it anonymously through the internet (which I was relatively new to) in my own time.
So I started to download and read the weekly topics and tried out the weekly exercises.
Right from the start I found there was a clarity and common sense to Belsebuub’s writings with straightforward explanations that just rang true with me even if they were things I didn’t know of or had not thought about before. It really made sense when he explained things like how the problems in the external world are a reflection of humanity’s collective inner problems.
Apart from the great learning I got from Belsebuub’s writing another great thing was to learn from life using the techniques he taught.
Putting into Practice What I was Learning
I was able to begin to effectively look more deeply into my thoughts and feelings and see where they were coming from by practicing what he taught about awareness in the present moment and self-observation. I could begin to get more moments of peace by not going along with the mind or emotions so much but by just gently keeping a focus on the present moment using the five senses to perceive it.
Going on walks around the neighborhood to begin trying this practice of awareness became a new adventure. Life was starting to become more magical and I began to appreciate life more again.
At the same time, with Belsebuub’s techniques of self-observation, I was seeing and understanding more what a problem my inner dialogue, emotions and reactions really were, however I could begin to separate myself from those by coming back to awareness of the present moment as explained by Belsebuub. This was really helpful and a good preparation to later learning in another of Belsebuub’s courses how to eliminate negative inner states or what he calls “egos”.
In the course was a retrospection practice that allowed me to begin to see more in hindsight of how my inner states work, and has really helped to give a drive and determination to watch out for these when they arise in daily life, to avoid going along with harmful ones.
Through practicing awareness in the present moment, self-observation and retrospection, I’ve become happier, more calm, more purposeful, active and engaged with my life and personal development.
Experiencing Positive Changes in my Life
These techniques and Belsebuub’s advice helped me to begin to develop better relationships with my family, my friends and work colleagues by seeing my own negativity and aiming to not go along with it in order to not only have better relationships and respond to things in the most appropriate way but for positive spiritual growth as well.
From doing this course, I started to want to take better care of my body, so by the end of the course from what I had learned I was able to quit smoking and the addiction for good and have never relapsed since. I was also able to begin to lift myself out of lingering in grief that had been caused by the sudden death almost ten years earlier of some close people in my life.
This course helped me to see my own psychology from a fresh perspective for the first time, got me out of a downwardly spiraling rut and helped me to deeply understand more about the workings of reality and how to begin to make lasting positive changes to develop consciousness and live a more spiritual life.
There were also other books by another author which were recommended reading during this course that I didn’t actually read until sometime after I had done the course, but I found them very inspiring and wise although not always as easy to understand as Belsebuub’s writing.
All the advice and techniques written by Belsebuub in this course have been life changing for me for the better and have become my way of life, as the techniques are very natural, they do work and are very effective and have set me off on a great spiritual exploration.