LaylaThe self-knowledge information in the Searching Within Course has been the most important self-development learning I have come across. When I first started looking to learn about myself I never knew that I would have found the answers in spirituality, but since learning about this self-knowledge information it has come to make a lot of sense that it is based in spirituality.

I had come to see in my early adult years that the root of the problems I faced in many of my relationships, from partners to friends and family, as well as a feeling of unhappiness, was there in the way I thought and felt towards others and towards life generally. Though I came to see it stemming from within me I didn’t know how or what to do about it in a real way to change it. I had tried certain courses through my university studies to try and discover how to understand my own life, taking up psychology, sociology and even philosophy, but as interesting as they were I came away unfortunately with no better understanding of myself in terms of why I thought and felt the way that I did, and how to be truly happy in my heart.

I also went along to conflict resolution seminars offered for free at work which were helpful to a certain extent like the courses at university but I couldn’t see how to get to the root of the problem through this approach of dealing with things of life with just a positive outlook, doing things differently or just having more resolve to be happy. I kind of gave up looking in this way for a while.

Overcoming an Intense State of Fear

Not long after this period, I developed panic attacks literally overnight and that affected my life dramatically, gripped with an intense fear that arose seemingly out of nowhere. I then also started to have growing fears of having a panic attack as well. I turned to a psychologist recommended by a friend and though they were caring it didn’t get to the heart of the problem that I was facing. I also started to have very interesting dreams that showed me that through this situation things that had been hidden were going to come out. I didn’t want to give into the panic attacks as a way of life and instead thought there must be a reason that I was going through this, and that maybe that it was something I could learn from and help others deal with this very crippling fear one day.

I was very fortunate to have come across the self-knowledge information contained in the Searching Within course, because it was precisely what I had been hoping for but without knowing it actually existed let alone that it was contained within spirituality.

The self-knowledge information as it unfolded week by week helped me to overcome panic attacks day by day, to learn how to observe my thoughts and feelings – not just know that they existed. It became a very intriguing time of self-discovery and I began to see the potential of profound change that this information offered. Belsebuub’s Searching Within course helped me a great deal to face the fear within me, to learn how it existed and in what way. Learning about what fear is, where it comes from and why I was experiencing fear was very important for me to overcome it, however it wasn’t until I started to practice the self-observation technique Belsebuub explained to observe how the thoughts and feelings existed and how they gripped me that I then got to see the reality of this incredible body of knowledge and wisdom.

Learning to Be Conscious

Being able to learn about self-observation and awareness of the present moment explained why I was able to see the thoughts I had been noticing in my early adult years. I used to wonder how was it possible for the mind to be able to see itself like that, because I had no idea about consciousness or what it was. So when I learned about consciousness and how to be conscious, not in the ordinary sense of just being awake, it was quite incredible because it meant that those negative thoughts and feelings belonged to the subconscious and it was my consciousness that was perceiving it. Now that made sense, and the more I practiced being aware during the day, the more I came to see many more thoughts and feelings that I hadn’t noticed before but surprisingly were shaping the way I thought, felt and lived my life and my relationships with people.

This self-discovery information in the Searching Within course, which later became the book The Peace of the Spirit Within by Belsebuub, has been a life changer for me and has helped me to see life in a fresh, real and meaningful way and it gave me the way to change within. With this information nothing is mundane in life, whereas before I’d always be trying to chase the next exciting thing. I never knew spirituality could be so real to life, so magical and so extraordinary. I started to also have out-of-body experiences through the small inner changes I was experiencing with self-observation and awareness. I later explored this phenomena through another of Belsebuub’s courses on astral travel and it was wonderful to be able to tap into my pursuit of self-discovery through dreams and OBEs. It opened my understanding to see that nothing exists in isolation and that everything has a cause and effect from day to night and night to day. I got to see that I could begin to learn in ways that I didn’t know were possible.

Being able to overcome panic attacks, the fear of having out-of-body experiences and the fear of driving have been incredible changes that I’ve experienced through the wisdom given in this course and Belsebuub’s books. In my efforts to overcome the fear of having an out-of-body experience, and actually having my own experiences, I realized that there was nothing to fear and in fact I wish I had pursued OBEs much earlier. I was able to learn to see that the fear was baseless, it was just the fear of the unknown, and the actual out-of-body experiences I had were magical, wonderful and a great portal of discovery that offered incredible opportunities of spiritual learning. In a similar way the fear of driving had me gripped for many years and stopped me from learning to drive, based on a fear of ‘what if’, but again learning to see the fear and to work on overcoming it I learnt to drive which has opened up work opportunities, being able to live life more freely and has saved me a lot of time.

Though I still have aspects of fear within me, it’s now something that I’m interested in learning about instead of just wanting it to go away, or ‘fearing’ it, and this understanding helps me to be free of it too. It’s been a very interesting self-discovery journey over these years and the incredible wisdom in this information never stops unfolding the more that I apply the techniques given in Belsebuub’s work.

An Unforgettable Experience with Self-Knowledge

One of my most memorable moments of how truly this self-knowledge information is a core part of spirituality was when one afternoon many years ago now, I was in a very low state of feeling down about myself. In trying to come out of the grip of these strong emotions through self-observation and awareness in the present moment, I prayed asking my spiritual being to please help me to be free of these compulsive thoughts that had a strong hold. I was also applying the technique of the elimination of an ego, that I learnt in a later course as best as I could and was appealing to my spiritual being for a lot of help. In that asking and having faith that my being was hearing me, an incredible sense of peace, beyond anything that I had felt before, came over me and in that moment all those low emotions and thoughts were gone instantly, completely not there anymore. Instead I just felt an amazing experience of this unique sense of peace that I had never felt before. That was my experience of the ‘Peace of the Spirit Within’ and it’s that peace that I look to experience and have as the goal to work towards. It gives me the hope and the strength to overcome the many negative and unwanted thoughts, feelings and behaviors within me.

I am so appreciative of Belsebuub’s work through all his books and courses and I love the way he explains things so simply, clearly and methodically. I go back to his works time and time again, the information never grows old, in fact the more I go back to it the more new things I grasp as I try to learn more about myself. He truly brings forward a work of wisdom as infinite as the learning one is willing to undertake.

~ Layla Fowler